100 Days ~ One Second a Day

Photo by Jennifer McKenna Photography

Today marks 100 days until March 22, 2018. Our first baby's arrival date. I have been inspired by other "100 day" projects, and so we begin ours while waiting on baby Chu. I have been using the "1 Second Every Day" app to document moments with mama, and at the very least I plan to share 100 seconds from these 100 days. 

I often think about how she must have felt when she was pregnant with me. I like to think how she was on the same arrival count down that I am, as I was also born in March. Did she crave green apples and milk, too? Were holiday cookies too tempting for her, as Trader Joe's peppermint oreos are for me? Instead of a pinterest board, did she clip images from magazines? Dreams of first birthday parties, halloween costumes, and matching holiday pajamas? 

About a year ago I remember talking to her about having a baby someday. She asked me where a baby would sleep, and before I could answer she had plan, "the baby could sleep in my bed with me." So much has changed since then. We show her our sonograms, my growing belly, and point to "little boys and little girls" the way that she does, hoping that someday something will connect and she will understand. Usually she stares at us blankly. Sometimes she will nod or laugh lightly, the way she does when she is unsure of something. Sometimes she will say in a gentle tone, "whatever." Just a few days ago as she and I were walking laps in target to escape the cold, she picked up a package of pink baby onesies. Something finally sparked, I thought, and then she said, "this is good for my dinner," and placed the onesies in our bright red basket.

She did seem to understand once, for just that small moment in time.

She said, "I'm sorry I won't be able to talk to it much." 

Oh, mama. This baby will be so lucky to meet you, just as you are, in just 100 days.